Sisi si korrupt

Just before the end of 2005 KACC I sat with a good friend of mine talking about the so called corrupt recruitment process that took place within the Kenyan police. The friend told me to stop grumbling about corruption in Kenya for it has become a way of life. He however went on blaming it for the country's slow development and the reluctance of multi-nationals to invest in the economy. "Everyone in Kenya accepts bribes," he complained. He even suggested the we form a union of corrupt people a call it Kenya Corruption Commission (KCC). He believed that all rich sons of the land would actually join us. Well, I am still thinking.

As the talk went on I asked him about his sister in Nyalgunga. He said she is still waiting for her green card, though he sponsored her 15 years ago. "No one in America accepts bribes," he complained.

Of course, he was exaggerating -- on both counts. Not everyone in Kenya accepts bribes. In fact, the Kenya Anti-Corruption Commission (KACC) has compiled a list of government officials who have never accepted bribes and hopes to give awards -- perhaps even gold watches -- to both of them.

If you want to know the names of these honest officials, just send a self-addressed stamped envelope to KACC -- and do not forget to include a token of your appreciation, preferably in the form of cash. The more you pay, the more likely the response. KACC went on to claim that it has not brought anybody to justice because corrupt people are difficult to come across. As soon as you catch one he becomes clean by bribing. But the commission has stepped up its efforts and said that if it does not make at least a head roll in the next two years, then it will impeach Justice Ringera himself. The commission intends to call at least three press conferences a week this year to ask for public opinion on how to do their work. Serious work starts in 2007. They even intend to conduct a referendum on whether to bring people to justice or not.

Truth be told, there are hundreds of millions of people who have never accepted bribes. They are known as the poor. Though they have little money, some have to pay off others just to maintain their basic needs, such as a good spot on the pavement.

Corruption, unfortunately, extends into every sphere of life and is almost unavoidable. Money can get you just about anything: a good job, a good education, a good Internet connection.From the lofty ministers to the lowly street sweepers, everyone has a price. And being caught on tape accepting a bribe won't necessarily jeopardize your career, especially if you can find someone else to bribe.

Even if you have just stuffed thousands of shillings into your pockets, you can plead your innocence. "This is not a bribe. This is a donation. I am a very honest person. As a wise man once said, it pays to be honest."

Yes, corruption is a serious problem, but despite what some believes, Kenya is not the most corrupt country in the world. That distinction belongs to Bangladesh, which finished dead last among 91 countries surveyed some few years back by Transparency International. This has allowed Kenyan cabinet ministers to brag that they are more honest than some countries. "If you want to see real corruption, just cross the border to Somalia, Uganda, Tanzania or Sudan. Even husbands have to bribe wives just to have children."

By Ujiji Ujiji